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Practical Christianity:  East of Eden Part 8 — Children as Covenant Witnesses

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Don

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Practical Christianity:  East of Eden Part 8 — Children as Covenant Witnesses

(Part 8 of 12)

⚓ Floatie:  What Children Learn Before They Understand

Deuteronomy 6:6–7  (6)And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.  (7)You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.(ESV)

Children do not learn covenant primarily through instruction.  They learn it through exposure.

Long before a child can articulate theology, they are interpreting posture:

  • How conflict is handled
  • How repair is pursued
  • How fear is expressed
  • How love responds under strain

Marriage is never private when children are present.  It’s always formative.

✒️ Forge:  Children Are Not Observers; They Are Interpreters

Children Read Atmosphere Before Words

Scripture assumes this reality.  God’s instructions to Israel place formation in daily life, not formal lessons (Deuteronomy 6).

Children absorb:

  • Tone
  • Silence
  • Distance
  • Tension
  • Affection

They learn what covenant feels like before they ever learn what it means.  This is why parents can say all the right things and still transmit fear, instability, or distrust.

What Children Learn From Unrepaired Conflict

Conflict itself doesn’t damage children.  Unrepaired conflict does.

When children repeatedly see:

  • Withdrawal without reconciliation
  • Anger without repentance
  • Silence without explanation

They learn dangerous lessons:

  • Love is conditional
  • Power determines safety
  • Conflict ends relationships

Scripture never demands perfection from parents.  It repeatedly calls for repentance and repair (Psalm 51; Proverbs 20).

Silence Teaches More Than We Think

Many parents believe shielding children from conflict means staying quiet.

But silence often teaches:

  • Problems are not discussed
  • Emotions are unsafe
  • Truth must be hidden

Children raised in silence often become adults who:

  • Avoid confrontation
  • Internalize blame
  • Fear intimacy

Scripture models a different approach—truth spoken with humility and restraint (Proverbs 15; Ephesians 4).

⚒️ Anvil:  Repair Is the Lesson That Lasts

Children Do Not Need Perfect Parents

They need repentant ones.

When children see:

  • Apologies offered sincerely
  • Ownership taken without excuse
  • Change pursued over time

They learn that failure is not fatal.  This is covenant formation in real time.

What Faithfulness Looks Like to a Child

Children rarely understand vows.  They understand consistency.

They notice:

  • Who shows up
  • Who keeps promises
  • Who stays engaged when things are hard

This shapes how they later approach:

  • Friendship
  • Dating
  • Marriage
  • Faith

Scripture treats this generational transmission seriously (Psalm 78; Proverbs 22).

When Marriage Fractures, Children Still Watch

This must be said carefully and clearly.

When marriage doesn’t survive:

  • Children still form theology
  • They still learn about trust
  • They still learn what safety looks like

The lesson doesn’t come from whether the marriage ended, but from:

  • How truth was handled
  • How dignity was preserved
  • How responsibility was owned

Scripture never claims broken structures automatically ruin children.  It warns that untruth and fear do.

🔥 Ember:  The Weight of Being Watched

One of the sobering realizations of adulthood is recognizing how much children noticed that we thought they missed.

They hear tone.  They see posture.  They remember silence.

That realization doesn’t condemn—it clarifies.  Marriage is not just shaping two people.  It’s shaping witnesses.

🌿 Covenant Triumph:  Repair Points Beyond Ourselves

Children raised around repaired relationships learn something rare:  That love can bend without breaking.  That failure doesn’t end belonging.  That covenant is stronger than emotion.

Even imperfect marriages—especially imperfect marriages—can point children toward Christ when repentance is visible and hope is anchored somewhere higher than the household.

The goal is not to give children Eden.  The goal is to give them honesty east of Eden, and a reason to hope for what is still coming.

[⚓ Floatie] [✒️ Forge] [⚒️ Anvil] [🔥 Ember] [🌿 Covenant Triumph]
This post follows the Forge Baseline Rule—layered truth for the discerning remnant.

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6 responses to “Practical Christianity:  East of Eden Part 8 — Children as Covenant Witnesses”

  1. Annette B Avatar
    Annette B

    Parenting alone was actually easier once I was Born Again.
    My sons father was working against all Biblical principles I attempted to teach , as we learned to live them.
    Even though my family and my sons father did not agree with my choices , God saw us through.
    My son only observed disagreement between his parents, never reconciled. In spite of this… thank God at least he had both of us who loved him and his fathers side is his family foundation . They were always a family unlike my side.
    Being able to let go of my son in order for this to form was one of the most difficult decisions I ever made in my life. At age 16 he really needed a man to keep him in line as he finished high school and developed those deeper bonds with them (family).
    Naturally most never understood or agreed with my choice. My son was my life and I was heartbroken because I stayed in Fl when I sent him to live in Ct at that age.
    I always wondered if he felt abandoned by this. He always had his dad in his life, so they loved each other without doubt …
    nothing about parenting is easy or go as planned. I love the older movies , especially westerns and comparing how people functioned. I compare the elite to the poor, depression era and war time , mothers left alone with multiple children , alcoholism and physical abuse, spoiled rich kids to over disciplined, working hard labor children to highly educated and Im feeling pretty good with my results 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Don Avatar
      Don

      A lot of people will never understand how difficult some choices as a parent can be. It’s the hardest and most rewarding thing a person can do with their lives because we feel the weight of every decision.

      Parenting does become easier as a Christian because we have support and guidance that makes no sense to anyone who isn’t a Christian. The peace He brings to our lives let’s us put as much of the burden at the foot of the cross as we choose to put there. It’s where every burden belongs. The only question is whether we decide to put it where it goes.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Annette B Avatar
        Annette B

        As a new Christian with a six year old son , first thing I did. Put his dad in position to commit and move forward with marriage or we end .
        Since we were an on/off mess …
        Drawing that line was painful but good.
        Being a new Christian I only knew two things immediately share the gospel and walk in faith. It was literally all I had … 🙏🙌✝️❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Don Avatar
        Don

        That is a great foundation. Those early stages of being a new Christian can be the most difficult and most dangerous. It can be confusing and disorienting. There are usually more questions than answers. You had two of the most important bits.

        Like

      3. Annette B Avatar
        Annette B

        I definitely was confused about being so rejected because I thought I found a pot of gold !

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Don Avatar
        Don

        That confusion makes sense. Rejection after hope isn’t just painful—it destabilizes how you understood what was real. That kind of loss leaves marks long after the moment passes.

        Like

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