Practical Christianity:  Prayer

Floatie:  The Relationship That Sets the Tone

Philippians 4:6–7  (6)do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  (7)And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.(ESV)

Prayer is not the act of changing God’s mind.  It’s the act of God changing yours.  Most people approach prayer as if it were a celestial vending machine — put in the right words, hit the right button, and receive a result.  That’s not prayer; that’s manipulation disguised as faith.  True prayer doesn’t seek control.  It seeks alignment.  The goal isn’t to bend Heaven toward your desire but to bend your heart toward Heaven’s will.

When Paul says to pray about everything, he’s not describing a constant stream of requests.  He’s describing a constant state of connection.  The peace that guards your heart is the evidence of alignment — proof that you’ve stopped wrestling for control and started trusting the One who holds it.


✒️ Forge:  The Pattern of Relationship

Most people fail at prayer for the same reason they fail at friendship — they treat it as a transaction, not a relationship.  They call only when they need something.  They give just enough to keep the line open, then disappear until the next emergency.  That’s not intimacy; that’s opportunism.

God doesn’t want a relationship based on crisis management.  He wants fellowship built on love, curiosity, and trust.  Jesus called His disciples “friends,” not servants, because they shared His heart and mission.

John 15:14–15  (14)You are my friends if you do what I command you.  (15)No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.(ESV)

Friendship is mutual presence, not one-way petition.  The same principle applies to prayer.  If the only time we “call” God is when we need something, we shouldn’t be surprised when the relationship feels hollow.  A friend isn’t the person you use for rescue; they’re the person you share life with.  The Father doesn’t want flattery; He wants familiarity.  He wants to be remembered in laughter, not just in lack.


⚒️ Anvil:  The Vending Machine vs. The Vineyard

We’ve been trained to think of prayer as performance.  Say it right, stand right, cry hard enough, believe big enough — then the blessing will come.  That’s not biblical faith; that’s idolatry of outcome.  The enemy loves this model because it replaces relationship with formula.

But God is not prayer-operated machinery.  He cannot be coaxed, pressured, or cornered.  He answers according to His will, not our technique.  The true fruit of prayer is not what we receive, but who we become while waiting for the answer.

When we stay aligned with God — abiding in His Word and walking His path — the fruit of our lives is good.  But when we drift, weeds begin to appear.  We see the weeds of fear, resentment, and disappointment, and we blame God for the lack.  Yet God didn’t plant those weeds — we did, through neglect and disconnection.  He planted a vineyard meant to thrive in constant conversation with Him.  When that conversation fades, the ground grows hard, and weeds take root in the silence.  Only when prayer becomes a daily act of returning to the Vine can the soil be restored and fruit begin to flourish again.

John 15:4–5  (4)Abide in me, and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.  (5)I am the vine; you are the branches.  Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.(ESV)

Prayer is the act of abiding.  When we pray rightly, we’re not begging God to water a dying plant — we’re returning to the vine that gives life in the first place.

And yet, this journey requires tension.  The farmer who plows can’t look back if he wants straight rows (Luke 9:62).  But the fruit later reveals whether the rows were straight.  The paradox is intentional.  We trust while moving forward, not analyzing every step.  Only in the season of fruit can we look back to see the proof of faithfulness.  Prayer isn’t just the plow; it’s also the inspection — the daily correction that keeps the rows aligned.


🔥 Ember:  The Blind Trust of Alignment

The hardest part of prayer is silence.  We want answers.  We want signs.  But alignment often begins in the quiet places where God says nothing — not because He’s ignoring us, but because He’s training trust.  Faith isn’t proven when we get what we want; it’s proven when we stay faithful even when nothing happens.

Romans 8:26–27  (26)Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.  (27)And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.(ESV)

Even when your words fail, Heaven still hears the intent of your heart.  The Holy Spirit is your translator, not your replacement.  That means you can’t “fail” at prayer if your heart is genuinely seeking alignment.  The only failed prayer is the one that refuses to yield.


🌿 Covenant Triumph:  The Fruit That Follows Alignment

When prayer becomes alignment, peace replaces anxiety, gratitude replaces demand, and obedience replaces desperation.  You stop trying to get God’s attention and start recognizing that you already have it.  You stop trying to twist His arm and start letting Him soften your heart.

When your prayer life begins to mirror His character, your earthly relationships begin to mirror Heaven’s order.  Friendship, marriage, parenthood, leadership — all of them bloom from the same soil of communion.  That’s the pattern of alignment.  God’s design hasn’t changed.  His desire for you hasn’t changed.  The only variable is how close you choose to walk.

So keep plowing forward with your eyes fixed on Him.  Don’t look back at the past, but don’t ignore the fruit either.  Let it reveal where you’ve drifted, then correct your line and move on.  Every prayer that brings your heart back into rhythm with His is a harvest waiting to happen.  And when the weeds appear — because they will — let them remind you not of failure, but of invitation.  God is calling you back to conversation, back to alignment, back to friendship.


[⚓ Floatie] [✒️ Forge] [⚒️ Anvil] [🔥 Ember] [🌿 Covenant Triumph]
This post follows the Forge Baseline Rule—layered truth for the discerning remnant.

Personal Note:
I pray for people a lot in public.  I regularly offer to pray for them, and yet it often feels almost like a lie to me.  Here’s why.

When I pray privately, I talk to God like He’s my best friend.  If I’m mad, I pray mad.  If I’m happy, I pray happy.  I always pray from where I actually am, not where I think I should be.  It’s true that I partly use prayer as a trauma dump.  I vent.  I don’t filter my words or polish them to sound spiritual.  I say what’s really on my mind because pretending otherwise feels dishonest — like trying to hide something from a God who already knows every thought.

If I have a thought that doesn’t belong, I don’t want to clip the leaves and hope it doesn’t grow back.  I want to dig into the root and kill it there.  Prayer is where I do that work.

Public prayer is different.  It adds a layer of filtering that I don’t normally use.  That filter feels uncomfortable because it feels less honest.  When I pray publicly, I tend to become formal and formulaic — like I’m performing instead of conversing.  It doesn’t come naturally to me.

Does that make my public prayers invalid?  Not at all.  But it does mean I still have growing to do.  I love to pray for people — I really do — but I’m still learning how to bring the same authenticity of my private prayers into the moments when others are listening.  It’s a work in progress, and maybe that’s the point.  Prayer isn’t supposed to make us perfect; it’s supposed to keep us real before the One who is.

10 responses to “Practical Christianity:  Prayer”

  1. cleaners4seniors Avatar

    This is a rough statement for me …
    “Most people fail at prayer for the same reason they fail at friendship ”
    Now, Im going to look further into the why?
    Because, my first thought is that friendship requires two participants. (Not considering a general’ being friendly’ /thats easy)
    **Compared to prayer which is a lifestyle. A 24/7 communication of worship . Which is a dependency and permanent bond to Jesus. Not based on being good enough or pleasing enough or conditional on something. Or having anything in common with. Its not personality or attraction. Prayer just is… like a perfect gift . And once we are connected to our savior = He hears us .
    Back to friendship Jesus calls us friends. 🙏
    For me.. no one compares

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Don Avatar
      Don

      You’re absolutely right that prayer is deeper than friendship in the human sense. It’s permanent communion, not a social exchange. My line about “most people fail at prayer for the same reason they fail at friendship” wasn’t meant to equate the two, but to use human friendship as a mirror. We learn the shape of relationship from our earthly experiences, and when those experiences are shallow or transactional, we often bring that same pattern into our prayer life without noticing it.

      God’s side of the relationship never fails. He never stops listening, never stops being present. The failure is always on our side in our participation, attention, and alignment. Prayer is constant, unearned communion, but living inside that communion requires humility and engagement. The relationship is permanent; the fellowship within it shifts based on the posture of our hearts.

      And this is where the shape of friendship really matters.

      The pattern of friendship was meant to mirror the original design God created which is trust, faithfulness, presence, honesty, and love that grows stronger through testing. But the enemy has hollowed out the definition in our culture. Today, “friend” can mean someone we met five minutes ago. Friendship has become a label, not a covenant. True friendship requires trust that is built, tested, and proven over time. Even when trust seems to appear instantly, the truth of it is revealed only through adversity. Untested friendship is fragile. Tested friendship is strong.

      Our relationship with God works the same way except He never fails the tests. We do. Yet those who have real faith (tested trust in God) know that when we fall short, He remains steady. He forgives, restores, and continues the relationship we’ve wandered from. That’s why Jesus calling us “friends” carries so much weight. It speaks to a love that isn’t quite agape or eros but something relational, committed, and enduring.

      And it’s worth saying this: the goal of friendship isn’t complicated. It’s doing life together. Friends don’t have to talk constantly, but they carry the quiet confidence that when they need one another, the other will show up. That presence may cost something such as time, convenience, comfort, or something else, but real friendship doesn’t keep a ledger of debts. Sacrifice is given freely because the relationship itself is the reward.

      To be a good friend is to love someone without expectations, without scoreboard-keeping, and without treating the relationship like a transaction. The only real “cost” of friendship is time. Its the shared experiences, the conversations, the laughter, the correction, the mundane hours spent simply being part of one another’s lives.

      And the reverse is equally true: if two people only talk when one needs something, that isn’t friendship. That’s usage. One is pulling from the relationship; the other is being drained by it. Friendship requires reciprocity. It requires the sharing of life, not just the sharing of needs.

      That’s the shape of friendship God designed, and it’s the shape our relationship with Him is meant to mirror. Not constant begging, but constant presence. Not occasional panic, but steady communion. Not transaction, but trust. Not usage, but love.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. cleaners4seniors Avatar

        Ok I understand.
        I guess being on my own so young always having friends was the way of life. Working with the public always a big part of building a social life and serving my community. This has always come natural and uncomplicated for the most part.
        When I stopped drinking (1989) things changed. All alcoholic drinkers were eliminated instantly.
        Still had very good friends (like family), we were always there for each other and noone kept score.
        After leaving the catholic religion (1996), I lost pretty much everything and everyone. One neighbor (Christian friend).. who was opposing my quran reading at the time prior to salvation.. told me to keep my eyes on God and walk step by step. We live by faith not by sight. 🙏 Best gift ever. She supported me (spiritually) in my relocation to Fl when my dad was diagnosed with brain cancer . (2002). Thats love. She never criticized me, disrespected me , manipulated or lied to me, was never jealous, never tried to control me and never avoided me . Always sharing scriptures and prayers for building up and encouraging each other. We wrestled scriptures together through discussions, and Bible study..never competed. We did some ministry together in helping others This is the way I would expect our lives to be in our fellowships. It was never complicated. The churches (businesses) on the other hand offered nothing close .

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Don Avatar
        Don

        That is the true shape of friendship. That’s the true shape of prayer. God wants to call us friends. He also knows when we aren’t being friends to Him. We should have higher expectations and lower walls with friends. If only we could all be friends, no?

        Think about your relationship with your Christian friend. You didn’t have to talk every day, but you did talk. You didn’t just talk about one subject either, did you? No, friends often find more than a single topic to talk about. It’s ok to still have walls or barriers with friends. There are some people who I consider a friend that don’t know about some parts of my life. It’s not that I’m hiding anything from them. It’s more that they wouldn’t understand the experience because their life was very different. It’s not a thing we have in common.

        With God? There should be no barriers. He cares, truly cares, for every thought we have. He cares about every hair on our heads. He cares about every emotion and whim. He cares about us so much more than we are capable of realizing. When we acknowledge that He already knows and sees the things we try to hide from Him then it becomes easier for us to lower those barriers and be honest with Him. It’s only by being honest with Him, and thus ourselves, that we can begin to build the relationship that leads to us being friends with God.

        It seems to be that your friend, by the way, was the closest to true church that you have described to me so far. Friends will wrestle with things. It’s not about one being right and the other being wrong. It’s about both improving through the work. That’s fellowship. That’s discipleship. That’s friendship. That’s love. When we find ways to spread that throughout the rest of our lives and begin to live like those things are the very air we breathe then we become centered on that relationship. They flow from God. They are gifts from Him. If we have that relationship with Him then we can live joyously with whatever other blessings we find in life. A friend who is in our life for a short season will be missed because we understood what a blessing they were. A deep love that that slowly fades because of drift is likewise mourned, but the pain is at the loss and not bitterness over the process. I could say more, but I think I’m spiraling off into the weeds here.

        One last thing, you rightly called “churches” businesses. I see a lot of them become just another business because they become addicted to the wealth that comes through shallow theology while the churches that truly share the gospel, thorns and barbs and all, lose the shallow people who are only looking for that business relationship that offers a feeling in exchange for money. It’s emotional prostitution. I could speak for days on this topic, but it wouldn’t be sharing the love of Jesus. It would be an imbalanced rant. Yes, we do have to point out the bad behaviors and counterfeits of the good things God made, but we can’t miss the most important part, which is to point people to the love of God demonstrated by the life of Jesus.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. cleaners4seniors Avatar

        Leaving out ‘ rants’ definitely.
        My brain cannot tolerate myself ranting or complaining anymore.
        I hope its forever…
        I try to control myself (looking within), rather than out. I have a need to understand first before my brain can focus. More so since I had ny vertigo episode that took me down completely. Have I since let go of alot of dysfunctional, confusing and chaotic (situations).
        I literally even stopped coloring my hair wanting no more chemicals near my brain ! Now Im learning to love my grey. And learned .. its only vanity.
        Back to friends, most of my last closest have passed away.
        Making new ones has been like finding a church. I’ll leave it there.
        My lack of trust runs very deep in male relationships. I accept I’ve made choices that didn’t prove right. Its more complicated with men because’ feelings’ …. are involved. Im vulnerable, which is why Its easier to treat it like an addiction and eliminate them altogether 🤣 (funny not funny)
        ** How’s that working for me ?
        🤭 It’s not

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Don Avatar
        Don

        Everything you said hits so close to home. I have deep trust issues myself that come from a lot of experiences that shouldn’t have happened. Some my fault, but a lot were not. I have a hard time making friends. I mean the true friend. I know a lot of people and have find feelings for most of them. I can get along with just about anyone, but I always ask how much of that is me just flexing to fit them in the hopes of being accepted. The hard part for me is that if they accept me after I have masked myself to fit a comfortable profile, it feels like a lie because that’s not who I truly am. The underlying issue there is that I never got to find out who I really am because I’ve been hiding like that since I was pretty young. It was a survival mechanism. If I could blend in then I wouldn’t be cast out or abused. If I looked and acted like them and was interested in the things they were interested in then they might accept me as one of their own. I would be safe. To that end, I have no idea what my actual likes and wants are. I have no concept of my own desires or needs. Everything that I do as a hobby (even my career) can be traced back to a person. I learned about this subject so that I could talk with that person about it. I learned about that subject in the hopes that this person would enjoy talking to me.

        It’s pretty hard to be friends with others when you aren’t able to be friends with yourself. It’s impossible to love others when you don’t love yourself. You can’t love yourself if you don’t know who you are. That’s my journey.

        As far as the relationships with other people…

        It can very much be like an addiction. I’ve found that people can become addicted to anything. Drama and toxic environments can be just as addicting as any drug. They can be just as hard to quite. Quitting cold turkey can be a solid solution. I know some people who have alcohol problems. It’s never just one drink. They have to avoid anything with alcohol in it because it can be a risk for them. The risk isn’t the alcohol itself. It’s the loss of self control. Any time we lose control of ourselves there is a problem. It matters little what the topic is. The danger of any addiction is that we find excuses to justify continued use. It doesn’t take another person to make that happen. We will find a reason to continue abusing if we don’t eliminate the temptation.

        This reminds me of a story. The frog and the scorpion. The scorpion wanted to cross the river and asked the frog to give them a ride across the river. The frog said that the scorpion would sting them and they would both die. The scorpion promised not to sting the frog, so the frog agreed. Halfway across the scorpion stings the frog. The frog asks the scorpion why because doing that meant they would both die. The scorpion said it was in their nature to sting.

        It’s fine to make friends. Just make sure you understand their nature with every interaction. The frog knew the nature of the scorpion. The frog believed smooth words and ignored the nature. Yes, through Christ, nature can be changed. But we have to test the nature over time. The proof is in the fruit.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. cleaners4seniors Avatar

        I can’t stand drama
        I’ve searched for peace and a life that made sense. (Jesus )
        My standoffs are how I was raised.
        Mostly privacy for protection.
        Took a long time to let go and learn to engage more. Which has not always proven to be fruitful.
        Back to perfect peace in Christ Jesus .. my Bible being my pot of gold. Even though most have rejected it , I do not care. For me , I know for certain (after living to please others), I hold the truth , the way and have the life.
        Im ok with if It means to stand alone, I can and I will.
        However , I prefer the ability to apply my trust also , in people .
        I get it now , without trusting it wont happen. I end up back at the beginning.. I dont know how to.
        I do (now) understand (why).
        I am praying and self examining and not ranting or complaining or blaming anyone else. Great start.
        Leave it here because.. I can not see
        What’s next 🙏

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Don Avatar
        Don

        I’ve been thinking about this one and I finally figured out why. “I can’t stand drama.” Same. Same. My wife and I both decided that we wanted to reduce the drama in our lives. To that end, we’ve almost entirely eliminated the drama in our house. For many years now we’ve a fairly drama free couple. That could be why so many couples come to use for advice. I digress.

        What we’ve found is that we don’t see much drama inside of our house but sit comfortably in our rocking chairs on the front porch watching the drama unfold all around us. It’s on our hearts to respond to a lot of it, but we do so only if we can keep that healthy boundary line that says we don’t bring outside drama inside the home. If we begin to see the weeds of other people’s drama in our house then we withdraw and work on the home until we are solid enough to step out again. Home requires maintenance. Relationships require maintenance. Drama? That is self-sustaining. It will always be there. This just means that the threat of drama will never go away and the defenses we build around our safe places need constant care.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. cleaners4seniors Avatar

        “This just means that the threat of drama will never go away and the defenses we build around our safe places need constant care.”

        Now.. if I am blessed with an opportunity to put this into practice, I understand… hope for a mutual match … expecting some drama.
        Drama (for me), is neurotic persons that bring upon others their madness, and, do not accept any advice or suggestions to get better or solve problems.
        Very unhealthy (prescription drug abusers), in denial being the worst.
        The lieing manipulative tactics on top of … creating their own perspective of ‘Christianity’… as Im cast down as ‘ the problem’.
        If you guessed its (family), you are correct! Im at a point for health reasons… to stay far away from what I came to understand (to me).. it feels like emotioonal and mental abuse. Although I am most certain, they do not intentionally plan it. They are just unable to see it.
        Nevertheless, Im done doting on them. (Their drama)
        I have ‘ never’ liked chaos and confusion and was the one to leave the atmosphere once (at any gathering) , it started..
        Naturally ( I was accused) of ‘ ‘always running away.’

        In happy now I did always show up and love everyone… everyone.
        I an happy once my son was born , I protected him from these dysfunctional experiences.
        Life in itself is plenty . And he was allowed to visit with all family within boundaries.
        The family still creates narratives about me throughout my mothers passing and beyond.
        I will pray but I can see clearly now.
        👍🙏❤️
        * some drama is ok 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Don Avatar
        Don

        Seeing clearly is the blessing. I had a similar problem with my family. A lot of drug users, thieves, liars, abusers of all sorts. I just stay away from most of them. My kids have only met a tiny few of them. They know just enough to know that the stories I tell aren’t made up and that’s why we avoid that kind of people. Thankfully, this kind of thing happened to Jesus as well and that’s why we have a path to salvation at all.

        Liked by 1 person

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