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Practical Christianity:  Love, Part 1:  The Shape of Love

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Don

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Practical Christianity:  Love, Part 1:  The Shape of Love

(Part 1 of 5)

⚓ Floatie:  When Love Stops Feeling Like Love

1 Corinthians 13:4–7  (4)Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant (5)or rude.  It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; (6)it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  (7)Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.(ESV)

Love is easy to quote and difficult to live.  We sing about it, celebrate it, and promise it freely, yet few of us can describe what it really is once the fireworks fade.  We associate love with warmth, safety, and affection—but Scripture speaks of endurance, obedience, and sacrifice.  When love stops feeling like love, most people assume it has died.  In truth, that is often when love is finally being tested enough to become real.

The goal of this series is to return love to its covenantal frame—to strip away the sentiment and uncover the steady heartbeat beneath it.  Love is not the mood of the moment; it is the promise kept after the feeling changes.  It is the deliberate choice to seek another’s good, even when our own hearts grow tired.

This is the shape of love:  forged, not fallen into.

✒️ Forge:  Love as Covenant Faithfulness

Love Defined by God, Not Culture

Deuteronomy 6:5  You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.(ESV)

John 13:34–35  (34)A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another:  just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.  (35)By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”(ESV)

Love begins where convenience ends.  The Hebrew word ḥesed means steadfast loyalty—a love that holds its ground even when the other party breaks theirs.  In Greek, agapē carries that same resolve:  a willful choice to act for another’s good, whatever the cost.

Love is not measured by warmth but by obedience.  When God commanded Israel to love Him, He wasn’t demanding constant emotion; He was establishing covenant fidelity.  Jesus echoed that commandment and raised it:  Love each other the way I have loved you.  In other words, love is defined not by how we feel about someone but by how God acts toward us.

We cannot understand love until we see it from its source—God’s own covenant with His people.  Everything else is reflection.

Love’s Fourfold Pattern of Covenant

  1. Initiation — God moves first. (1 John 4:19)
    Love always begins with grace.  God did not wait for us to deserve affection; He loved while we were still rebellious.
  2. Commitment — Love makes a promise. (Exodus 19:5–6)
    Real love binds itself through vow and responsibility.  It says, I will be here, and then it stays.
  3. Faithfulness — Love stays present. (Hosea 3:1)
    Hosea’s story reveals a love that keeps covenant even after betrayal.  That is not weakness—it is the very strength of God’s character.
  4. Redemption — Love repairs what was broken. (Romans 5:8)
    “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”  Love doesn’t erase sin by denial; it redeems by sacrifice.

This pattern—grace -> promise -> presence -> restoration—is the blueprint for every form of covenantal love we are called to live.

Once we see this pattern in God, we can finally recognize its counterfeits in ourselves.

Love Versus Sentiment

Culture teaches that love is something we fall into—a current that sweeps us along.  Scripture teaches that love is something we rise into—a decision made daily, forged in fire.  Emotions are a gift, but they are not a compass.  Jesus could love Judas, pray for His executioners (Luke 23:34), and weep for those who rejected Him.  That love was not emotional chemistry; it was covenantal clarity.

When we treat love as a mood, it disappears the moment it costs us something.  When we treat love as covenant, the cost reveals its purity.  The fire that burns away infatuation leaves behind the gold of faithfulness.

To love as God loves, we must let our feelings serve the covenant, not replace it.

Why This Matters

Every relationship that bears God’s name—marriage, friendship, community, church—rests on covenant.  If we misdefine love, we misbuild the structure meant to hold everything together.  Churches fracture, homes collapse, and faith communities grow polite but powerless when they replace truth with sentiment.

Hosea 6:6  For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.(ESV)

The world will not believe our sermons if it cannot see our love.  And love will not endure in us unless it is built on the same covenant faithfulness that defines God Himself.

Tomorrow Part 2:  The Work of Love

Love’s shape is clear; now we must learn its motion.  Tomorrow we’ll leave the blueprint and step into the workshop—watching how love behaves once it meets the heat of daily life.  In Part 2, we’ll measure covenantal love not by feeling but by fruit, discovering how patience, honesty, and sacrifice become the visible tools that form it.

[⚓ Floatie] [✒️ Forge] [⚒️ Anvil] [🔥 Ember] [🌿 Covenant Triumph]
This post follows the Forge Baseline Rule—layered truth for the discerning remnant.

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6 responses to “Practical Christianity:  Love, Part 1:  The Shape of Love”

  1. cleaners4seniors Avatar
    cleaners4seniors

    Soo much to learn about love. A starting point (for me), Im realizing Im afraid of it , fear. Fear alone has so many faces, Im pretty sure Im on this journey of facing them. Its pretty painful…. but its time. I trust God has brought me here , now.
    But not knowing love because its hurt me so much , I not only avoid and run from it .. I just dont understand it . Never really knowing how to trust it for ‘fear’ of being hurt. I go so far… then hit my wall .
    Meanwhile the word is tossed around like a bouncy ball.
    I look forward to diving in and hope I grasp even a tiny morsel , enough to hold me steady . My little mustard seed faith applies here perhaps?
    🙏

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Don Avatar
      Don

      This has been a very difficult topic for me over the years. I never knew what the word meant. I had been married to a truly wonderful woman for several years before I realized that. She walked through hell to guide me to where I am now. Hurt people hurt people, and I’ve been on both sides of that. I would love to be able to share our story without having to filter things, but I’m struggling with how to do that while keeping the true depth of the story.

      Yes, your mustard seed of faith definitely applies here. Understanding love is vital for a healthy Christian walk. We can’t have a full relationship with a loving God when we don’t know what that word means. This might require a lot of self reflection and healing. It’s not a one and done thing either. It’s a process that can take years. He knows that. As long as you show yourself grace along the way and keep moving forward…

      Btw, part of my personal recovery is being more open and honest about my own life and the issues I’ve faced. I’ve not always faced things well. I’m called to share my mistakes in the hopes of helping others either overcome those same mistakes or avoid them to make new mistakes. Feel free to reach out with any questions about any subject. There’s very few things that I won’t talk about. I also think that discussions with my wife would help a lot of ladies these days. She is such a treasure.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
      1. cleaners4seniors Avatar
        cleaners4seniors

        Once I heard the gospel, Jesus love was the first time I came to any form of unprejudiced, unconditional love. Knowing Him . It started there.
        My past naturally has too many experiences and emotions, and head knowledge’ I know my dad loved me for instance.
        Being on my own too young, happily living, surviving, riding the roller coasters and being the yo yo , bouncing my own ball of love around. Been there had that.
        After.. becoming a Christian is when I began to heavily experience the reality of hate jealousy rejection abandonment and chose finally separating and letting go.
        Currently I realize my emotions are ruining me and any chance I have to give a committed forever kind of love. In part Im perfectly content In part perfectly alone.
        Im more than grateful God is peeling off this layer of (?).. to start (already has), this healing process.
        Honestly.. I always thought I loved enough (in past), never hated anyone, even my worst offenders.
        Always had Biblical questions such as , who are my neighbors, family & enemies. And what is love and how does it apply.?…
        -In addition, I feel two recent deaths (my mother/may)& (my sons father/Jan)-
        Have opened up major emotions that are so deeply buried , are surfacing. I waited looked forward to the day neither one could hurt me anymore. I felt free at last. (And thinking I shouldn’t feel that way).
        But low and behold here I am, looking back blaming them both for ruining me.
        Im very good at moving on , surviving, ignoring, separating and just enduring as usual . I can handle all the pain and disappointment that comes and work around it.
        I can hold myself upright and joyfully do a great job at work.
        I pray always for all things and have always stood alone without a problem. Can lose everything material and can care less.. will happily give it all away .
        However…
        None of that applies now.
        Im being exposed deeply in a way I see myself as a damaged complete failure…
        Perfect right? Yep
        But God. Here I come , here I am
        Right where he wants me ? At his feet? With my cross on my back?
        Ugh Thank you
        Im happy you serve Him.
        Would love to communicate also with your wife whenever its fitting.
        I have no idea , really what Im doing
        Im just going day by day.
        Its a on again off again , open and close… as I can handle.
        Im absorbing and processing each text, scripture and tear.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Don Avatar
        Don

        A fellow survivor. That’s a hard road to follow. The worst part for me was the discovery that my normal isn’t normal. I survived things because I thought that was just the way things were. As a kid (younger than 5), I thought that drugs, alcohol, violence, and prostitution—and all of the things that came with them—were just a normal part of life. The realization that it didn’t have to be that way, with the constant fear, made me angry. Being angry pushed people away. That further isolated me making me more angry. I was abandoned by the people who should have loved me because they were so broken and damaged themselves that they couldn’t also take responsibility for me. This is a longer and darker story than this format lends itself to.

        I, too, had to separate myself from all that came before so that I could see the truth of it. I had given up on life when I met me wife. I had walked away from the church and was as deep into the wilderness as any person could get. I put that woman through hell and called it love. I was explosively angry and easily provoked. I was an alcoholic for a few years. There is a hole in our house that I refuse to fix as a reminder of who I was. Fear of losing her was what forced me to calm down enough that I was ready when the time was right for me to return to the flock. I’ve spent years healing and working through the many layers of trauma received and caused. I’d like to say that I’m in a good place, but the truth is that there is still a lot of work to be done. I’m being intentional about it now. There’s the difference.

        Sharing my life through this blog has been a huge part of that. If you go back to the very first posts and follow them through you will see the progression. I went from raw emotion to what you read today. Some might say that I overshared in more than a few of my posts, but I truly feel that there is no room for half-truths or masks when it comes to healing. Any action taken to defend against the pain of healing simply slows the process down. Pride and embarrassment are such a waste of time. They stand in the way of the healing that I so desperately need and my family so desperately deserves. They deserve the healed version of me who is capable of standing in the gap for them when they struggle. My bride deserves a husband who won’t wound her with my own trauma. My children deserve a father who will not ask them to carry my scars into the future. By sharing I’m releasing. By releasing I’m healing. Getting rid of the rocks in the garden, so to speak, allows me to plant something that will benefit my family for generations to come.

        Iron sharpens iron, and I promise you that every word of mine that you read and every response you give helps me to heal as much as it does you. It helps because I know that I am seen, I matter. It helps because I know that I can reach out when I’m weak. It helps because I no longer fear the weakness because the moment of weakness will pass if I kill the fear that protects it.

        Liked by 2 people

      3. cleaners4seniors Avatar
        cleaners4seniors

        Im so encouraged and grateful for this… your laboring and vulnerability.
        This is real down to earth (what I call it) life. And now hope in healing.
        What a gift you received , your wife.
        As a kid that was my only dream to be married and have lots of children. Im single never married with a son.
        I would never desire to go back and change one thing or relive any part.
        I accept my place and try to be content. Hope now I can grow emotionally into a stable option , learn to love and go where God says to go . 🙏
        Im getting old though , growing old gracefully was always my goal .
        🤭

        Liked by 2 people

      4. Don Avatar
        Don

        Personally? Getting old I can’t stop. I don’t wanna grow up. I’m a Toy’s R Us kid. 😁

        Liked by 2 people

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Hello,

Who am I?

I’ve walked a path I didn’t ask for, guided by a God I can’t ignore. I don’t wear titles well—writer, teacher, leader—they fit like borrowed armor. But I know this: I’ve bled truth onto a page, challenged what I was told to swallow, and led only because I refused to follow where I couldn’t see Christ.

I don’t see greatness in the mirror. I see someone ordinary, shaped by pain and made resilient through it. I’m not above anyone. I’m not below anyone. I’m just trying to live what I believe and document the war inside so others know they aren’t alone.

If you’re looking for polished answers, you won’t find them here.
But if you’re looking for honesty, tension, paradox, and a relentless pursuit of truth,
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If you’re unsure of what path to follow or disillusioned with the world today and are willing to walk with me along this path I follow, you’ll never be alone. Everyone is welcome and invited to participate as much as they feel comfortable with.

Now, welcome home. I’m Don.

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