Walking With Christ

For a lot of people, the most treasured places or things that they know are those that they found seemingly by accident. It’s often something that they only found because they did something outside of the normal for them. It’s that small restaurant with the great food, the quiet place they go to be alone, or the almost hidden place that nobody seems to know about. It might not be hard to find. It’s more often that it’s just overlooked by almost everyone. In that place, you feel special, almost honored. It’s as if this quiet place allows you to be there knowing that you mean no harm and seek only to enjoy the place as it is. You leave the world at the door and drop all pretense, motivations, and masks. In that place, you are just you. It’s a place where you can be raw and real without fear of persecution or judgement. You offer no opinion and ask none in return.

It’s special because so few know about it. It’s special because it’s fragile. Having a place like this changes a person. It allows you to find peace.

What is peace? I found peace once. Just as I described above, it was something I found completely by accident and not because I was actively searching for it. I wasn’t even aware that I had found it until someone else pointed out that I had changed. I was no longer angry. I didn’t get stressed about anything. I was completely at peace.

After my wreck, I lost all memory. All I had was a promise and the vaguest recollection of peace. It was almost like remembering the last time I held my wife’s hand. It wasn’t quite tangible. I could almost touch it, but not quite.

Peace is the ability to say ‘amen’ through the rain even as you struggle to stay afloat. Supernatural peace is not about the absence of storms but about the presence of God with us in the storm.

Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.(ESV)

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.(ESV)

Isaiah 26:3 You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.(ESV)

There are a lot of reasons why a person might not be able to find peace. For me, it’s the trust. I found peace because I had completely given myself into His hands. I had built up a level of trust in His plan to the point where nothing could bother me. About three days before the wreck I heard God ask me if I trusted Him. All I could say was yes. That was the end of the conversation. That was the last conversation I would have with God for more than five years.

The last time I trusted God, He killed me (if you know, you know. If not and you’re curious, ask). It might be understandable that trust would be a bit difficult after something like that, but it’s also so frustrating for me because I know that trust is what is blocking my ability to find peace. Being aware of a problem does not necessarily help in fixing the problem. My problem is that I’ve allowed my peace to be disturbed. I can honestly say that I haven’t handled it well. It’s caused me to struggle with a lot of things that I definitely didn’t have to. I digress.

Faith and trust that aren’t tested are mere beliefs. To say that you trust someone, that trust has to have been tested. It has to pass the test. The same can be said of faith. It was a death that caused me to leave the church. It was my dad’s near death that brought me back. It was own near death that tested the faith that was growing.

I have to admit that seeing the steps leaves me curious about where His plan will lead next.