Walking With Christ

Mark 10:2-9 (2)And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” (3)He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” (4)They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” (5)And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. (6)But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ (7)‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, (8)and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. (9)What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”(ESV)

This isn’t to shame anyone who has had a divorce. There are circumstances where divorce is the only real option. I want to focus on verse eight today where it says that two shall become one flesh.

A lot of modern wedding ceremonies have included a symbolic gesture where two different colors of sand get blended together in one container. This is to signify that the two are inseparable going forward. I love the symbolism, but I don’t think it truly does justice to the truth of these words. A patient person could separate the different colors of sand. It might take years to accomplish but it’s possible. It would be far more difficult (though still doable) to separate two colors of liquid. Even this falls short of the supernatural melding of two spirits together.

This is why divorce is often so devastating when it happens. It simply isn’t possible to return to the way things were before. Symbolically, if the container that holds the mixed sand gets broken and the contents are spilled onto the ground, both parties are left scrambling to get as much sand as possible. It’s impossible to note that it’s extremely difficult to even get back what was put in. Often, one party or the other will walk away with far less sand than they put in. Regardless of who gets more sand than the other, some of the original sand is guaranteed to be lost so that nobody can reclaim it. The sand spilled onto the floor will invariably become mixed with whatever else was on the floor and will never be pure again. Tiny shards of glass from the container may also be mixed in with the sand promising future harm if not properly handled.

Anyone who has been through a divorce can attest to the fact that it’s never simple or easy. Even the nicest and cleanest separations change the people involved. It’s important to recognize the changes with the knowledge that this is not the end of the story for any of the parties involved. The loss of such a deeply personal relationship requires going through the mourning process and allowing the wounds to heal.

Getting married changes who you are but getting divorced does not change the love that God has for you. You are still worthy to be loved. Jesus still went to the cross for you. It’s important that nobody forgets that.