Who Stayed?

John 6:67
So Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you want to go away as well?”

This question comes right after the feeding of the five thousand—an undeniable miracle. One small boy’s lunch was used to feed thousands. Scholars estimate there were around 15,000 people present, counting not just the men, but also their wives and children. That same night, Jesus and Peter walked on water while many who had been fed slept in their beds. The problem with feeding people is that they always get hungry again. The next day, the crowd woke up and tracked Jesus down, hoping for more.

John 6:26
Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you are seeking me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of the loaves.”

Sure, Jesus fed them, but that wasn’t His main purpose. He fed them so they would be free to listen, without their stomachs distracting them. But He was offering something far greater than physical food—a way to never be hungry again. When He tried to explain this, many in the crowd couldn’t grasp it. They were thinking only of their immediate needs and responded with, “So, no more food?”

Jesus was revealing deep spiritual truths that many couldn’t perceive. Many followers fell away as He explained that He was the bread of life. They simply couldn’t understand.

What’s the point I’m trying to make here? What have I been leading up to for the last few days?

I’m talking about the spirit of Babylon—the religion of self—which has been present since Eve ate the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The Pharisees and those who fell away in John 6 represent two sides of the same coin that still troubles us today. The Pharisees were prideful in their ability to maintain the law flawlessly. Nebuchadnezzar, the Babylonian king, was prideful in his kingdom and the power he believed he built through his own strength. The people who fell away from Christ when the buffet ended were the other side of that coin. One side says, “Look how great I am,” while the other side asks, “What’s in it for me?”

Yet, we see Christ—the very one who spoke everything into being—washing feet like a common servant and giving freely, even to the point of death. Christ led by serving. The twelve disciples didn’t fully understand everything Jesus was offering, but they knew they needed Him.

John 6:68-70
(68)Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, (69)and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.” (70)Jesus answered them, “Did I not choose you, the twelve? And yet one of you is a devil.”

False teachers, modern Pharisees, and those who only follow for the free buffet exist everywhere today. This isn’t new, and it isn’t a surprise. It’s also why we know that few will ultimately find the way, as it says in Matthew 7:

Matthew 7:14
For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.

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Who am I?

I’ve walked a path I didn’t ask for, guided by a God I can’t ignore. I don’t wear titles well—writer, teacher, leader—they fit like borrowed armor. But I know this: I’ve bled truth onto a page, challenged what I was told to swallow, and led only because I refused to follow where I couldn’t see Christ.

I don’t see greatness in the mirror. I see someone ordinary, shaped by pain and made resilient through it. I’m not above anyone. I’m not below anyone. I’m just trying to live what I believe and document the war inside so others know they aren’t alone.

If you’re looking for polished answers, you won’t find them here.
But if you’re looking for honesty, tension, paradox, and a relentless pursuit of truth,
you’re in the right place.

If you’re unsure of what path to follow or disillusioned with the world today and are willing to walk with me along this path I follow, you’ll never be alone. Everyone is welcome and invited to participate as much as they feel comfortable with.

Now, welcome home. I’m Don.

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