Walking With Christ

2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.(ESV)

I normally try not to use the same verse of the day that pops up in the YouVersion app. This is the verse of the day from 2/6/2024. When you see a message so many times, it bears repeating. I’ve seen this message several times today already and I keep getting reminded of a promise made to me.

Before my wreck in 2017, just days prior to it, God asked me a simple question. It was rare for Him to ask me anything. It was nearly always Him telling me something like ‘consider this’ or ‘go there’. Do you trust me? The obvious answer was ‘of course’.

After my wreck, I suffered from amnesia for several weeks. I had trouble forming short term memories to the point that five to fifteen minutes later a person could repeat something in a conversation and it was new information to me. My long term memory was ravaged as well. The only things I could remember about my life before the wreck was an indescribable peace from being in the presence of the Lord and a promise given to me. The peace surpassed understanding. I certainly couldn’t feel any peace through the pain after the wreck, but I could still remember what the peace felt like. It was almost like my very soul was being gently hand washed clean and I simply could not be burdened with any worries.

I couldn’t remember when I received the promise. The promise was simple. “I will heal you” was all it said. I do remember telling my wife not to worry about me after the wreck because I knew I would be ok. I had no idea how bad I had been hurt. It’s probably a good thing there because it left no room for doubt.

I never prayed to be healed. I always praised Him for His promise to heal me. I lived through the trauma and pain with expectation. I just knew that I would be healed one day. I didn’t know how it would happen, but I hung onto that promise.

Five years later…

My memory was functional but not even close to be good. There were still massive gaps in the long term memory and I could only remember conversations for a few hours, at best. I was in constant pain.

The truth is that I still clung to that promise even if I had begun to question the timing. I heard the enemy reminding me that the promise to heal may not apply to this life time. I could be healed in the same way Lazarus was. I still never prayed to be healed and continued to praise Him for the promise made.

1 Peter 1:6-7 (6)In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, (7)so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.(ESV)

Romans 5:3-5 (3)Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, (4)and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, (5)and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.(ESV)

I’m still figuring out the reason for the timing. Things still pop up now and then to remind me of how things might have been different had I been healed much sooner. I look at the valleys I walked through and the lessons learned through the process and shout for joy that I was blessed to learn the them. It took time for me to grow enough for the healing to be beneficial.

His timing is perfect. We might not understand the reasons behind it. I, personally, think that is a much better way to go because of the hidden blessings in our weaknesses. Learning to rely on the Lord more instead of my own faulty foundation shows the glory, mercy, and grace of the Lord more than just about anything else in my life. It’s hard to imagine, in fact, I don’t want to imagine, where I’d be or who I’d be if I had not gone through what I did. I am who I am today because of the yesterday’s that came before. I can finally look in the mirror without a tinge of disgust for who I have been because I now know that who I was created who I am.

If I had understood the question, it’s probable that I would have been apprehensive about answering. I can’t say that I would answer the same question so quickly with such conviction today. I’m still working my way back to that. The difference is that my faith is no longer blind in that respect. I have seen Him move in my life. I have survived the things He is willing to do to save us. Trusting in God is not for the faint of heart. I am living proof that He is willing to kill you to heal you.

James 1:2-4 (2)Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, (3)for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. (4)And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.(ESV)

Father,
Praise You for Your holy promises. We know them to be holy and true. You are righteous and steadfast. Your timing is perfect and we submit to Your will. Give us peace, Father, with being patient as we wait for You to move. We know that You are working for the glory of Your kingdom and we can only benefit from being aligned with Your will. Shed light on our paths, Lord, so that we may see the next steps that You have laid out before us. Let us not stumble blindly for our own selfish ambitions, but, rather, be content with patiently waiting with You. Remind us of our loved ones who share this journey with us. Let us remember the blessing that they are in our lives. Let us be a blessing to them, in Your holy name, so their fruit may multiply on the earth as proof of Your goodness. Let joy overflow from every heart that reads this as we sing Your praises with abandon. Let us walk with You, Lord, in the light to be a light to the world that calls others to repentance for Your glory. Give us rest in Your promises, Father, that we don’t grow weary in the waiting. Hold us close to Your heart and whisper peace over us as we look forward to celebrating as one in the kingdom together.

In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.