Walking With Christ

Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.(ESV)

The men of my family are exceptionally stubborn, dare I say prideful. Asking for help, admitting when wrong, accepting defeat, and admitting our own limitations are just a few ways that pride can get in our way. The family dogma has always been that relying on other people for anything is foolish because they will inevitably let you down when you need it the most. This pushes us to be self-sufficient and self-reliant to a fault. It’s probably because of this “boy scout” preparedness mentality that people tend to turn to us to get help. We prepare for situations that we believe are inevitable as well as situations we did not anticipate but absolutely believe will happen again. The mantra is that it’s perfectly acceptable to borrow a tool. Once. Then go buy your own so you never have to rely on someone else for that tool again. If you have a tool, make sure you know how to properly use it and maintain it so that it will never let you down when you do inevitably need it again.

I think this is the base for the hoarding mentality that most of us have. The refusal to rely on other people could be part of the anti-social nature that is fostered in my family. The socialization that forms common bonds is part of the mechanism that gives society, at large, the flexibility to be diverse enough to survive. We are self-reliant as a means of avoiding the common bonds that allow for the vulnerability that comes with relying on others. The fact that we try to be so overprepared for any possible situation leaves us in a place where we often need niche help that won’t be readily available in the small circle of trusted friends (small due to lack of trust) which only helps to reinforce the idea that we can only rely on ourselves. Still, it’s part of our vicious cycle of pride. We ask for help, don’t get it (huge bunny trail there), figure out how to do it ourselves, and walk away with the only lesson learned being that we could have done it ourselves all along.

This prideful refusal to seek help from others limits us and is such a massive source of frustration. It causes us to lash out foolishly or isolate ourselves because we can’t see the help that is being offered for what it is.

James 4:6 But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”(ESV)

I have no idea where this was supposed to go or who was supposed to read this. I just had a recent experience with my own very deep seeded pride and felt the need to share my own struggles. I’m sure I’m not the only one who struggles with pride in it’s many forms. The symptoms and results are very often the same regardless of the cause. Whether the source of pride is past trauma, generational, foolish arrogance, or any of the hundreds of other faces that pride wears, the result is nearly always damage to those we care about most. It always requires an apology. Though, an apology is rarely enough if we can’t find the root cause of the behavior and begin to change it.

Philippians 2:3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.(ESV)

Father,
Thank You for lessons in humility. Thank You for showing us Your will for us to be social creatures through the very limitations we each struggle with. We do seem to struggle with these limitations because we do not see them as the gifts that they truly are. Some of these truly can be blessings in disguise because our weaknesses and limitations force us to rely not only on each other, but also on You, Lord. It is these limitations that remind us most that You are a God who is faithful. It is when we lean in to our limitations and lay them at your feet that we begin to grow. Forgive us for our pride, Father. We keep having to repeat the lesson that teaches us to rely on You for everything. The urge to be independent runs deep in some of us. Help us to seek forgiveness from those who we have harmed through our own petty pride. We know Your grace and mercy follow us for all of our days, Lord, for such gentle reminders always pull us back to the path You laid out for us before the foundations of the earth were formed. We lift up Your holy name in praise and worship, Father. We praise You and thank You.

In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.