Fragile Trust

Proverbs 3:5-6 (5)Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. (6)In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.(ESV)

What does surrender look like? What does real and true surrender to God and His will look like for a Christian? This is the real test of humility. This is the soil test. Only the best soil will produce the best fruit.

Trust is a hard thing to find in this world. There are so many reasons not to trust. The fragile nature of trust makes it such a precious thing. A moment of carelessness can cause years of trust to be broken, shattered in a moment. The weird thing about human nature is that we have the ability to blame whole groups of people for the actions of a small few or even one. Trust broken by one person can cause someone to simply not trust anyone who remotely resembles the person who originally broke the trust.

Trusting makes me vulnerable. Trusting shows my weakness. Trusting gives the other person more power over me than I’m comfortable with.

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.(ESV)

True surrender requires vulnerability. Even Christ asked for the cup to pass from Him but “not my will, but Yours be done” (Luke 22:42). It was only through humble obedience that Christ found the cross where we were all saved. I’m sure there would have been another way had He chosen, but this was the path He used. He used this path to show all of the world what obedience and surrender looks like. He used it to show His grace and love. He poured out His holy blood to WASH AWAY, not just cover as every sin offering before had, all of our sins. By washing us in His blood, we are changed.

Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.(ESV)

Christ showed the ultimate love by giving His life for mine. It wasn’t just a symbolic act. He was literally taking my place of punishment. A place that I most certainly deserve. He took that punishment for me to pay the cost of my sins. The wages of sin is death and that wage has been paid by my Creator and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Philippians 4:4-7 (4)Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. (5)Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; (6)do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (7)And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.(ESV)

This isn’t always a drastic change of life. The move from soil to saved is often best seen over time. Yes, it’s absolutely possible for a person to become radically different from one moment to the next. The transformation rarely stops there. The process will continue towards perfection until that last breath, that last heartbeat. Living FOR Christ is a matter of surrender. The more we surrender to Him and His will and His plan, the more we will see His blessings flow. The more sensitive we will be to His workings all around us. Giving God control can be daunting. The flesh seeks to keep control. That is it’s very nature. The flesh is made obedient to the spirit.

Surrender means admitting our own limitations. It means being humble enough to know when we have gone beyond our own ability and to humbly admit that we need help. The real and true trial will be to let God take control over even those things that ARE within our abilities.

Surrender means to admit that we are wrong and repent (turn away or have a change of heart towards) our sins. Pride, lust, anger, fear, doubt, envy, gluttony, and so many more. That’s just my list. Feel free to add anything else to the list. I’m sure I’m guilty of those as well. Fortunately, I am living under grace. Eternal and endless, perfect grace. Jesus went to the cross to pay for all of the sins of the world. Once and forever. I know that I will trip. I know that He will catch me. He will hold me and comfort me. He will heal my wounds and pat me on the head before sending me back out to keep running my race.

I know that the more I surrender, the more sensitive I will become to His will towards others. He will send the right person for the task. The closer I get to the will of God, the stronger and more free flowing my dialog with our Father will be. I know that He will correct me and mold me in love to perfection for the glory of His kingdom. I know, finally, that the person who stands before the throne of judgement will hardly recognize the person I have been, let alone, the person I am today. His perfect works and His perfect timing will perfect each of us to His will.

Father,
I fall on my knees before You today. I humbly ask for forgiveness for my arrogance, lust, anger, fear, doubt, resentment, envy, and the long list of other sins. I ask for mercy and grace for how harshly I have dealt with others and how poorly I’ve treated my wife and children. I surrender my life to You and Your will completely. Search me, Father, to show me where my hidden strongholds are. Help me to let go of the pain of the past that clouds my judgement even today. Help me to show Your love and mercy to everyone I meet. I know that I don’t deserve the wonderful gift of salvation that Your Son, Jesus Christ, went to the cross to purchase. I know that this is a free gift with a value that is incomparable to anything else that has or ever will exist. I know that my limited understanding can’t fathom the true value of this gift, so I ask forgiveness for that as well. Show me my weakness, Lord. Show me the places where You find me lacking. It’s there where I will find Your spirit at work in me. It’s there where I can draw the closest to You and Your heart. It’s there where I and others can truly see the miracle power of transformation that only comes through a saving relationship with Jesus.
Help me, Father, to be a better son to You, husband to my amazing wife, father to my wonderful children, brother to my siblings, friend to the long list of people I call friend (yes, all of you), and servant to Your kingdom and Your will. Create in me a clean heart that begs for revival and Your coming with every beat. Let not my will, but Your will be done, Father, on earth as it is in heaven. Let sickness be bound in the name of Jesus because we know that there is no sickness in heaven. Let depression, suicide, anger, hate, sorrow, and suffering be bound up on earth in Jesus name because we know that these cannot exist in heaven. Your will be done, Lord. You are the Lord of all. The Lord of all creation. Every law exists because of Your will. You are the force that binds the laws we know and forces our very existence to bend to those laws. Let every knee bow. Let every eye see and every tongue confess that You are the Lord of lords, King of kings, creator of all, Alpha, Omega, and so much more than we could ever want or imagine.
Pour out Your spirit over this group and their families. Let blessings flow like raging rivers from the doors of heaven. Let us share with everyone we meet about the good news and our wonderful savior, Jesus Christ. Let boldness be contagious enough to start a wildfire of people professing a never ending love for and faith in You and Jesus.

In Jesus name we pray, amen.

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Who am I?

I’ve walked a path I didn’t ask for, guided by a God I can’t ignore. I don’t wear titles well—writer, teacher, leader—they fit like borrowed armor. But I know this: I’ve bled truth onto a page, challenged what I was told to swallow, and led only because I refused to follow where I couldn’t see Christ.

I don’t see greatness in the mirror. I see someone ordinary, shaped by pain and made resilient through it. I’m not above anyone. I’m not below anyone. I’m just trying to live what I believe and document the war inside so others know they aren’t alone.

If you’re looking for polished answers, you won’t find them here.
But if you’re looking for honesty, tension, paradox, and a relentless pursuit of truth,
you’re in the right place.

If you’re unsure of what path to follow or disillusioned with the world today and are willing to walk with me along this path I follow, you’ll never be alone. Everyone is welcome and invited to participate as much as they feel comfortable with.

Now, welcome home. I’m Don.

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