Walking With Christ

Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.(ESV)
Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.(ESV)

Time for a confession. A few years ago, I had an affair. It wasn’t physical. It was an emotional affair. This isn’t an excuse or justification. There may not have been physical contact, but the damage was no less real. My relationship with my wife was in a low spot. We were fighting more. We weren’t talking like we used to. Life had gotten away from us. It can happen to any marriage or relationship.

The worst part is that it was my wife who pointed it out. I was actually not aware that I was doing anything wrong or out of the ordinary until she started pointing things out. She asked questions. I answered honestly. I had replaced parts of my relationship with my wife with the interactions I was having with this other woman.

When it sank in what I was doing, my world collapsed. I was three feet over the edge and looking down. I was having my own Warner Bros. moment. I quickly realized that I had run off the cliff and was outside of the safe zone. The scary part for me is that I simply was not aware. I was totally blind. It wasn’t like I had gone looking for someone else to be with or had otherwise consciously made the decision to step out of my marriage.

I was very much still in love with my wife. Yet, rather than express to her that I felt lacking in our relationship, I had begun to replace what I felt was missing.

Catch what I’m saying here. My wife saw the danger signs before I did. She was the one who saw the changes in me and how I related to her. She saw what was in my blind spot. I didn’t leave the marriage, but thanks to my own ignorance, I was certainly in a position where that was a real and serious threat. We all have blind spots. We all have weaknesses that we are not aware of until it’s too late. This is part of the reason why it is so important for us to surround ourselves with others who have real love for us.

Today, my marriage is as strong as it has ever been. We still have trials, but we also have God and each other. I’m so blessed. Thank God.